Its late and I should really be getting ready to sleep but I decided I really need to write this blog (I wish I had voice dictation haha). Today has been a hard, I have been reading everybody's fantastic results on the new WW program. I was excited I decided to have a sneak look at the scales this morning knowing my weigh in is in a few days. Well the scales showed a 400gm gain and I was dumb founded. I know I have had some tiny mishaps this week with some bad food eating habits (slaps self on wrist!!) but generally I have stuck to my daily points limit with some tiny going over into my weekly allowance and i have exercised everyday. That is why I was dumb founded to see a gain.
I think I felt worse knowing everybody else has had good losses following the new program. What is going I ask myself.... I know the program information tells you to up your protein intake as it makes your body burn more efficiently or something. But in my Dietitian head I am seeing high protein low carb diet, which sort of shows why everybody is having nice big losses. It has been found these high protein low carb diets tend to have better/bigger weight losses each week but this tends to be because people lose more fluid than fat. And that defeats the idea of healthy eating and weight loss which is to reduce fat!! Sometimes I wish I could have attended meetings this past week to learn more about this new program as the online system does not explain much behind the reasons for the changes and the types of foods you should aim to have etc. So with my brain in Dietitian mode I have been over thinking this new program too much and whether its right for me. Or maybe I have just stuffed up somewhere!
But I know I have been stuck at this same weight for the last month and its bloody annoying. I lose some and then I gain the little bit back. I just can't seem to break 82kg. I just want to be 80kg by Christmas! I still hate the way I look but I know I am healthier and I definitely look better than I did before when I was 104kg! I still have stomach roll and I still have back fat and they make me feel ugly. Why did I lose all my weight from my shoulders and face the most??? Now I have this skinny looking face with this big horrible body. I want to look good in clothes. I definitely fit smaller clothes but I don't always look like I should! I hate what I look like naked yep there I said it! Why do I have all this anger against myself?? Why do I hate myself so much when I should be proud I have lost 22kg.
SO I ADMITTED I AM STRUGGLING WITH MY FEELINGS. I AM DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF THAT I STILL HAVE DAYS WHERE I BOREDOM EAT AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CHANGE THOSE HABITS. I STILL CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF IF FOOD IS PLACED IN FRONT OF ME. I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF ON CHOCOLATE AND LOLLIES IF BIG BAGS ARE BOUGHT RATHER THAN SINGLE SERVE SIZES. I NEED A WAY TO GET THROUGH THESE BAD HABITS AND MAKE HEALTHIER HABITS. I HAVE CHANGED MANY OF MY HABITS ALREADY AND I DEFINITELY HAVE SMALLER SERVING SIZES AND MAKE BETTER CHOICES BUT IT STILL ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
Well that is my rant for today. I just needed to share it with whoever reads my blog. So if you have any suggestions/ comments please leave them.
4 comments:
My suggestion is simple - don't give up. :)
As i wrote on you WW wall your have come so far!!! I know its so easy to give up because i myself don't think my 1st week of PP has worked for me either..I feel like giving up sometimes cause i just can't seem to get past 12kg... basically almost half of what you have lost todate... I also get depressed cause I cannot see the changes to my body so much as my face and neck areas and that clothing sizes are slowly getting smaller... I truly know where you are coming from Jess its hard and you are closer to goal than me so when you get over this hump please drag me over it with you xoxoJodiexoxo
Thanks Everybody. Jodie I hope I can pull you over too! I am feeling better today. I hope you had a good WI
I stayed the same Jess...I am happy with that though after the high emotional week with the emotional snacking that goes with.. Look positive toward this week where things are gonna start to get back to normal..So happy youy had a loss that has boosted you back to the positive gal you usually are!!! Good Luck with this weeks pro points!!!
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